tebtosca

If I Stopped Lying I'd Just Disappoint You (Part Two)

For spn_cinema

“I’m in,” Jensen announces through the phone line, not even bothering to say hi.

“In what, Jared? Already? I’m impressed.” Danneel’s voice drips with amusement.

“You’re hilarious. No, that other little matter you asked me about. I will train your ginger orphan into the best little sex toy on the Upper East Side.

Danneel pauses for a second. “What changed your mind?”

“Turns out that her darling cousin Genevieve is the one who’s been telling Jared what an awful human being I am.”

“Oh yeah, she thinks he’s just dreamy. Did I forget to mention that?”

“You are a bitch and if your tits weren’t so magnificent I’d be hanging up right now.”

“They are nice, right? Well dear brother, knowledge is power or whatever cliché you want to run with. Now, if I can get little Julie over here to the house for a, shall we say, slumber party, will that suffice?”

Jensen looks back at Jared swimming laps in Jeff’s Olympic sized pool. “Give me two more days here and then I’ll come back for the night. Prep her for me.”

Danneel laughs wickedly. “Oh I’ll do my best.”

Jensen grins despite himself. “I bet. Two days, sis.”

He ends the call and throws the phone onto the lounger under the umbrella near the pool. He spends a moment just staring at a half naked Jared slicing through the water, his muscles working like a machine. His entire body is like poetry and Jensen wants to trace his fingers over it like it’s written in Braille.

Ugh, Jensen thinks suddenly. When the fuck did I get so sentimental? I need a blowjob.

They’ve spent the last few days studying Chemistry (boring beyond all measure), swimming in the pool (well, Jared swims and Jensen hides under the umbrella because, hello, freckles) and playing basketball (Jared plays and Jensen watches him and curses his hard-on). There are moments when they get to a certain comfort level and then Jared gets a phone call or email and it’s right back to wary suspicion. Jensen had amped up his instructions to Misha and Chad had sung like a canary about Genevieve Cortese and her mission to fuck up his sex life.

Jensen grits his teeth in anger before realizing that in a few days he will have his revenge. Vengeance always brings a smile to his face, so he’s beaming when Jared pulls himself out of the pool and strides wet and ridiculous over to him.

“What are you so happy about?” Jared asks, bemused.

“Why wouldn’t I be happy? It’s a beautiful day, there’s no school, I’m at my beloved uncle’s house, and I have such scintillating company,” Jensen smirks, tossing Jared a bottle of water.

Jared gulps it down and Jensen watches his Adam’s apple bob up and down. Water drips down his neck and he shakes his head like a puppy to get rid of the excess. Some of it splashes on Jensen and Jared laughs gleefully. Jensen tries to pout but it’s futile.

“What are you really doing here, Jensen? Shouldn’t you be off jet-setting somewhere? Spending money and having indiscriminate sex with other minors?” Jared inquires, eyebrow cocking. He flops down on the chair next to Jensen and stretches out languidly.

“I’m hurt that you think of me that way! Whoever is filling your head with this nonsense must just be jealous of my popularity, sincerity, and excellent GPA,” Jensen replies, batting his eyelashes for effect as Jared guffaws.

“Yeah, I’m sure that must be it.” Jared stops laughing then and just looks at him. It only lasts a moment before he’s slipping his sunglasses on and flopping his head back.

“So Jared,” Jensen tries a different track. “How come I never see you with any of those pretty little blondes that follow you around like love-sick puppies? I swear I saw Katie Cassidy writing ‘Mrs. Katherine Padalecki’ in her notebook in Government last week. There might even have been hearts around it, I couldn’t quite see.”

The sun is bright but he can still see the blush crawl down Jared’s bare clavicle. Jensen wants to press his palm to it just to see how hot his skin is. Jared strokes the silver band around the ring finger of his left hand and Jensen bites his lip in amusement.

“I’m not really interested in that kind of stuff. Just want to play ball and graduate so I can go to Stanford and start my life.” He holds up his hand almost as an afterthought. “And, you know, this. Purity is important.”

Jensen has to grasp his own thigh to keep from cackling. “To you or your parents?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does, Jared. You must have things that you want, just because you want them. Things you think about.”

Silence lingers then, a little uncomfortably, before Jared finally replies. “I mean, sure. I guess there are things I want. Things I probably shouldn’t.”

Jensen pushes his sunglasses up his forehead to meet his gaze dead on. “If it’s something that would make you happy then it can’t be a bad thing.”

Jared’s cheeks are pink but he keeps looking at him. “I’m sure you do lots of stuff that you want and I bet half of it doesn’t make you happy.”

Jensen tore his eyes away then and it’s his turn to blush. Fucking fair skin. “We weren’t talking about me, were we?”

Jared’s voice grows more confident. “Maybe we should be. I’m not stupid, Jensen. I know you don’t want to spend your spring break teaching me chemistry. I just wish I could figure out why you’re bothering.”

“I like you, Jared. You’re not like the rest of the spoiled brats we go to school with. Is it so hard to believe that I like spending time with you?” Jensen’s voice is as sincere as he can make it and it’s a minute before he realizes that he actually means every word. Huh.

Silence again, but it’s less tense than before and Jensen puts it in the win column.

“Want to go play Guitar Hero?” Jared asks softly.

“I….don’t even know what that is. But, sure?” Jensen laughs.

Jared grins, dimples out, and it makes Jensen’s stomach hurt. “I’ll teach you. And then I’ll kick your ass. Deal?”

Jensen rolls his eyes but Jared is already taking off towards the house, long legs pumping. “How could I refuse?”

**********

“Any news on the orphan since I’ve been gone?” Jensen inquires, coming into the living room where Danneel is spread out on the sofa. He snatches a strawberry from the plate in front of her and pops it whole into his mouth.

“Hello to you, too,” she replies, smacking his hand half-heartedly. “Slowly but surely it’s coming along. I supervised a visit from her piano teacher this weekend and they mooned at each other pathetically the entire time. I’ve been pushing her towards ‘expressing her feelings’ which of course will mean ‘many blowjobs’ when you get done with her.”

“And on the Welling front?”

“He’s invited her up to their house in the Hamptons next weekend, so you need to act fast. Genevieve is chomping at the bit to get in good with one of the old money families, and I guess she figures Julie’s her best shot.”

“Nouveau riche are so tacky,” Jensen sympathizes, stealing another strawberry but rubbing it against Danneel’s lips instead. She opens her mouth and bites down with a smile.

“She’s going to be here any minute so give me an hour with her and then make an appearance. Sound like a plan?”

“At your service,” he agrees, heading towards his room to kill time. He picks his cellphone on a whim and calls Jared.

“Jensen? Didn’t I just see you a few hours ago?” Jared answers, obviously amused.

“I had a bad dream in the car and need your voice to calm me down. I was so scared, Jared!” his voice trembles with Oscar-worthy woobification.

“Ah, it’s okay, Jen. Dr. Padalecki will kiss it and make it feel better, promise.”

“This is flirting, you’re aware of that, right? Just want to point it out so I can repeat it when you pretend you don’t like me.”

“Never said I didn’t like you, Jensen. Just that I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. Of course, I could probably throw you pretty far, actually.”

“First flirting, and now threats of manhandling! I knew you had it in you all the time, Dumbo!”

Jared snorts and Jensen grins because he can picture it clear as day even over the phone.

“Are you coming back tomorrow?” Jared asks, voice quieter then.

“Miss me already?”

“Nah, Jeff’s just too good at Guitar Hero and I want to keep my victory count up.”

“Liar.”

“Hello Pot, I’m Kettle.”

“I’m hanging up now, Jared. Try not to dream about me too many times tonight.”

“You suck, dude, you know that?”

“I’m sure you’ll find that out sooner or later.”

Jensen hangs up before Jared can answer and pumps his fist in an entirely dorky way that he will deny even to himself for as long as he lives.

He spends the next hour lying in bed imagining all the different positions in which he can fuck Jared. It leaves him just horny enough to go do his duty with the orphan. He pushes down his erection hastily so he doesn’t scare the poor child.

“Julie, you look ravishing tonight,” Jensen coos, bringing her limp hand to his lips.

Julie looks startled and lets out a high pitched squeak. “Hi Jensen.”

“Julie, sweetie, I need to make a few phone calls. Jensen will entertain you until I’m back, ok?” Danneel says sweetly, petting the girl’s shiny red hair as maternally as she can manage.

Her bright green eyes get as big as saucers as Danneel walks out of the room and Jensen slides next to her on the sofa. “Having a nice night, Julie? Danneel treating you well?”

“Danneel is wonderful,” Julie replies shyly, but she can’t hold back a toothy smile.

“I know, right?” Jensen smirks, just barely managing to hold back a sarcastic response. “What were you two talking about?”

Julie’s slim shoulders tremble a bit. “Oh, nothing really. She’s just helping me learn to talk about my feelings.”

“Your feelings, huh. That sounds serious.” Jensen slips on arm around the back of the couch behind her.

“There’s…well there’s a boy I like.” Her voice shakes and she looks down at the hands in her lap.

“Tom Welling?” Jensen prompts, knowing he’s wrong.

She looks back up at him and blushes as scarlet as her hair. “Um, no, not Tom. I mean, Tom’s really nice and everything and Genevieve says I should be with someone that is ‘not like that heathen Jensen Ackles’—“ She stops and claps a hand to her mouth as she realizes what she just said.

Jensen can’t hold back a laugh. Of course. “What does it matter what Genevieve wants?”

Julie looks at him like he’s crazy. “My parents died last year and Genevieve and my aunt and uncle are the only family I have left. And Gen is so smart and kind…I mean, she’s really bossy most of the time and I really wish that she wouldn’t make Jake feel bad about going to public school….”

“Is Jake your piano teacher? That’s the boy you like, isn’t it?” Jensen prods, gently resting a hand on her shoulder.

Her eyes twitch to where his hand rests on her but she doesn’t pull away. “Yeah, Jake is so amazing. He, he, well he treats me like a normal person, you know? He doesn’t feel sorry for me or tell what to do. I miss that sometimes.”

“Julie, will you let Danneel and I help you? I think you and Jake would probably be really good together and it’s not fair that outside sources are keeping you apart.”

She looks utterly shocked at his offer but nods her head slightly. “Um, that would be really great, Jensen. You…you’re not as horrible as Genevieve says.” Bright red. “I’m really sorry for saying that again.”

He strokes her hair then, face schooled into its most sympathetic expression. “It’s ok Julie, what Genevieve doesn’t know can’t hurt her.”

He shifts a teeny bit closer. “I’m going to kiss you now, Julie.”

“What?” she squeaks, almost throwing herself off the couch.

“You want to learn how to be good for Jake right? Public school kids are lot more experienced than us private school kids. They have to grow up a lot faster, you know.”

She seems to absorb that but keeps her distance from him. “I want to be good for him.”

“Then come back over here and let me kiss you. Just once, okay?”

“Um, okay maybe.” She’s mumbling now and her skin is radiating heat, but she shifts back next to him.

He tips her back with one finger until she flops on her back on the sofa. “Just relax, Julie. It’s just a kiss. It won’t hurt.”

She looks terrified, but lies there anyway. She gasps when he slips one hand under her skirt and pushes it up to her waist. “You said a kiss!”

He bends down and traces his nose along the seam of her white cotton panties. “Yes, a kiss. I didn’t say where though.”

Before she can protest too thoroughly her panties are being pushed aside and his tongue is lapping the hard nub of her clit.

“Oh my god,” she moans, covering her face with both her hands in a mixture of embarrassment and newly experienced pleasure. It takes her about two and half minutes to come and shakes so hard she falls off the couch.

Jensen rolls his eyes as he maneuvers her between his legs. She is on the floor after all, might as well go with it. “Ok, beautiful, next lesson.”

**********

Spring Break ends and they go back to school. Jensen starts spending his weekends up at Jeff’s house and he and Jared fall into a comfortable friendship. Danneel mocks him mercilessly about closing the deal but he’s realizing that slow and steady is the way to win this race. It helps that he finds himself genuinely enjoying his time with Jared and although it confuses him he figures it’s just due to the anticipation of finally having all that gorgeousness spread out and begging underneath him.

A month later Jeff surprises them with a request one early Saturday morning as Jared eats a bowl of Lucky Charms and Jensen picks at a croissant. They had stayed up late playing those wretched video games Jared is so fond of and both their faces were sleep worn and creased.

“So boys, the Westchester Animal League is having an adoption drive today and I want you guys to come with me,” Jeff announces, downing his second cup of coffee as he stands at the breakfast bar.

Jared’s face lights up like it’s Christmas and Jensen groans internally. “Of course we’ll help, Coach! Are there dogs? Please tell me there are dogs!”

“There are way too many dogs, Jared,” Jeff chuckles, rubbing his bed-messy head affectionately.

Jared beams at Jensen and he can’t deny it melts some of the qualms he has about the idea of being drooled on by a mass of dirty beasts. “Sure, Uncle Jeff. We’d love to help.”

Jeff grins at them, his handsome face lighting up. “Good! Get your asses together, we’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

They head over to the shelter and, as Jensen suspected, it’s a teeming ménage of wild animals that are likely carrying diseases and ready to attack at any moment. Jared looks happier than when he scored that three-pointer to win the game against Campbell Prep in the semi-finals. Not that Jensen was there or anything. Well okay, he was, but it had been a favor to Misha for finding Danneel a more reliable coke dealer than Clif the janitor.

An hour later, Jensen is sweaty and covered in dog hair, but Jared has spontaneously touched him in his excitement at least twelve times so it’s moderately worth it. Jared is off playing with a dog almost as large as he is so Jensen wanders over to one corner of the center in the shade near some trees. He huffs in frustration, more for himself than anyone around him, and drops down onto the stump of a tree. Suddenly a weird mutt-looking creature starts walking up to him, head drooping shyly. Jensen’s eyes flicker around frantically and he wonders if running will make the beast chase him. He might be in good shape but it’s hard to run in loafers.

“Who let you out of your cage?” he hisses at the dog, whose ears perk up. “Oh god, you are a stupid one, aren’t you? Promise me you won’t bite the face. I have to work with what God gave me and that’s number one on the list.”

The dog lumbers over to him and collapses across Jensen’s lap. His huge tail thumps in excitement as he nuzzles against Jensen’s side and tries to force his hand into rubbing his belly. Jensen is aghast but stangely no longer afraid.

“I don’t like creatures. Go play with the tall guy over there, he loves them,” Jensen mumbles and he almost smacks himself when he realizes he’s talking to a dog. It looks up at him with huge liquid brown eyes and floppy ears and it reminds him so much of Jared that Jensen can’t resist stroking his head. The dog makes a weird sound that resembles the motor of the Impala but is likely just a sign of encouragement. Jensen figures he’s trapped by the humongous body anyway and keeps stroking mindlessly. It’s almost soothing and before long he leans back against the tree and drifts quickly asleep.

“Jensen,” Jared’s hushed voice pierces through him as he feels himself being shaken gently. “Jen, c’mon man, wake up.”

Jensen opens his eyes to see Jared crouching next to him, face only a few inches away. If he leans forward just a little bit he can....The creature still on his lap yips happily.

“What the fuck?” Jensen grumbles, blinking his eyes a few times as Jared laughs and strokes the mangy thing lovingly.

“You fell asleep with Harley on your lap! It’s kind of the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, not gonna lie,” Jared straight up giggles.

“Who the fuck is Harley?” Jensen murmurs, still too asleep to feign politeness.

The beast yelps as if he recognizes his name. “This is Harley. He’s the most awesome dog here and Coach is going to adopt him today. Isn’t that amazing? He’s going to come home with us!”

Jensen takes a minute to bask in the word “home” followed by “us” in that last statement before realizing what Jared actually said and making a face. Jared just laughs again.

“You know, they say that dogs are excellent judges of character.” Jared looks at him with something akin to fondness and Jensen almost blushes. Almost.

“Better judges than self-righteous debate team captains with too much time on their hands?”

Jared looks startled for a moment but then he smiles. “Yeah, better than them.”

Jensen regains his smirk. “Well then, maybe Harley isn’t so bad after all.”

**********

“Do you think—” huff “—Jake is gonna like—” gasp “—this way? I mean I can’t even—” groan “—see you like this.”

“Yes, Julie, Jake will like it just fine, trust me,” Jensen sighs, glancing up from his text messages at the totally-not-a-virgin-anymore girl riding him reverse cowgirl style.

“Thanks for—” grunt “—teaching me so many—” squeal “---awesome positions.”

“You’re welcome. Faster now, kitten.”

She bounces like she’s on an inflatable castle as he types out a quick message to Jared. He shuts off the phone, grabs her hips and with three quick jabs fills the condom. That done, he pulls her slight body off him and flips her back on the bed.

Her skin is as red as her hair and she purrs like a contented cat as he finishes her off quickly with two fingers and a thumb on her clit. He pulls off the condom and ties it off before tossing it at the trashcan by the nightstand.

His phone buzzes with Jared’s reply and he rolls away from her to get it.

“Who’s that?” Julie inquires curiously, trying to crawl over him to see his phone.

“None of your business,” he blocks the screen, shrugging her off him.

“Totally Jared, right? Is he your boyfriend?” Julie asks slyly, like she’s smart for figuring it all out.

Jensen grimaces. “Yes, it’s Jared but he’s not my boyfriend. You are such a child sometimes, Jesus.”

“Wasn’t a child a few minutes ago when I was riding your cock.”

Jensen smiles. Her language has definitely improved. Danneel will be ecstatic.

“You were still a child, just a very enthusiastic one.”

“Jensen,” Julie whispers, rubbing circles around his bare hip. “Do you think Jake loves me like you love Jared?”

“I don’t love Jared, shut up,” he says through gritted teeth.

Her fingers trail farther down his leg until they reach around to fondle his quickly hardening cock. “You totally love Jared, don’t be dumb. Everybody sees it.”

He bristles at that, the idea that the whole school is talking about him in a way that makes him sound weak and out of control. He doesn’t say another word as he grabs her by the hair and pushes her face into his erection. She squeals a bit at the lingering taste of latex as he forces her jaw wider.

He needs to finish this now. This was supposed to be his greatest triumph, the pièce de résistance. He’ll be damned if he’s going out like a pussy when he’s so fucking close to victory. He drowns out the choking sounds as he floods her mouth with come and thinks about his soon-to-be prize.

**********

Jared cackles gleefully as Harley knocks Jensen onto his ass. The big mutt whacks him in the stomach a few times with his tail before running off to destroy some more of Jeff’s property.

The shit I put up with for some ass, Jensen fumes, brushing himself off as he sits up. He looks up at Jared, blocking the glare of the sun with one hand. The boy is looming over him, long body reaching towards the sky. He leans down to help him up, but Jensen figures it’s now or never and grips his hand to pull him down instead. With a grunt Jared falls half on top of him and Jensen takes advantage of their position to roll his hips upwards.

Jared gasps a little and rolls sideways, back to the slightly damp grass. He’s breathing heavy and his eyes are squeezing shut like he’s trying to gather himself.

Jensen doesn’t give him chance to think and rolls over to press his face into Jared’s neck. The skin is as warm as a furnace and Jensen can smell sweat and grass and aftershave. Jensen’s hand curls itself in Jared’s messy hair as he licks a stripe up his throat, dying to taste that scent. He rolls his pelvis down against Jared’s rapidly hardening cock and bites down lightly right at the bottom of his ear.

Jared groans and his hands grip Jensen’s shoulders like a lifeline. Jensen slips the hand not clutching Jared’s locks down between their bodies until he’s gently kneading Jared’s hard-on through denim. Quick roll of heads and then they’re kissing, slotting together after a few moments of clacking teeth as they find just the right angle. It’s wet and desperate, too much spit and need mixing together. Jensen’s hand cups and squeezes and Jared shakes as he pushes into it. It lasts for what seems like a lifetime until Jared is suddenly pushing him off and crawling away like his legs won’t hold him. He’s panting, breath a frantic wheeze and he’s not looking at Jensen.

“Jared,” Jensen breathes, his entire body tingling like he stuck a finger in a light socket.

“Jensen, I can’t, I just can’t,” Jared’s voice breaks, his hands clutching the grass so hard his knuckles are white.

Jensen crawls closer but doesn’t touch him. “Why not? How could feeling like this possibly be a bad thing?”

Jared looks over his shoulder at him and a stab of guilt rushes through Jensen at the wrecked look in his eyes. “Jensen, you mess me up so much. School’s almost over, I think I have everything planned out and then you show up.”

Jared’s lips are spit-swollen and red and Jensen flushes with pride that he made them that way. “I’m not so bad, Jared. I’m just like you. All mixed up.”

Jared’s eyes glaze over as Jensen traces one palm over his cheekbone. “Jensen, you walk in here so stupidly beautiful that it makes me question what the hell I even want in life.”

Jensen’s been called beautiful his whole life. Hell, it’s practically his entire identity. Yet no one has ever called him that with a look of such reverence and it makes him ache.

Just as he’s reaching in for another kiss, a slow one, a real one, Jared pulls back and jumps up. “I can’t, I’m sorry, I just can’t do this,” he mumbles, running back towards the house.

**********

Jensen leaves Jared alone through dinner, lying in the room Jeff always holds for him when he visits. He tries to sort through the mixed emotions from earlier in the day, reconciling the adrenaline of the competition with the very real visceral pull he felt when his lips first met Jared’s.

Either way, it’s time to end the charade.

He knocks on Jared’s bedroom door and waits a beat. He can hear Jared rustling on the other side and knows that he’s stalling. Finally, however, he pulls open the door and gestures for him to come in.

“Hey Jensen, I’m sorry about before,” he starts, voice quiet.

Jensen cuts him off before he can say another word. “I can’t be here anymore, Jared.”

Jared’s eyes open wider and he looks slightly confused. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t be near you every day and not be with you. It hurts me, Jared, you hurt me.”

Jared opens his mouth and then closes it again, like he can’t find the words.

“You’re a coward, Jared. You feel the same way I do and you know it. I can’t stand to have you in front of me and not touch you, not kiss you. How can you stand it, Jared? How do you lie to yourself every single day?” He pauses for effect. “So I’m going to go back to the city in the morning and I don’t think we should see each other anymore. I’ll stay away from you, give you what you want. Give you your safe little life without someone as awful as me in it.”

Jensen turns around and heads back towards the door, praising himself internally for the way his voice shook with emotion. And if half of it is true, well, that is unavoidable.

“Jensen, wait,” Jared cries, grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him back.

Jensen doesn’t look at him. “What, Jared? Why should I stay when you so obviously don’t want to be with me?”

Within seconds, Jared spins him around and their lips are meeting again. Blood rushes straight to Jensen’s cock as Jared holds his face in those gigantic hands and caresses his tongue slow and deep with his own.

“Jared,” he murmurs, tangling his hands in Jared’s t-shirt as they walk backwards towards the bed, their mouths never parting.

Jared breaks the kiss for a moment to sit down on the bed. Looking at Jensen with huge, wet eyes he pulls off his shirt and then stills. His body is tan and beautiful, yet a fine layer of goosebumps cover his arms, from fear rather than cold. Jensen steps between his legs and leans down to kiss him again, softly, just a press of lips on lips. Jensen slips his hands in Jared’s hair and tugs his head back gently, wanting to see the slope of his throat presented to him. Jared eyes flutter and he grasps his own thighs with his nails.

Just as Jensen is reveling in the sensation of pushing him back on the bed, Jared whispers “hang on” and starts pulling off the silver band on his ring finger. His hands are shaking like a leaf and there is a moment when Jensen catches a look of terrible sadness cross his face. A sadness that should never, ever be on a face so beautiful.

It’s all wrong.

Jensen stands back up, dragging a hand down his flushed face. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean?” Jared replies, his face a mass of confusion and vulnerability.

Jensen doesn’t know what he means. His prize is there right in front of him, inches away, spread out like a naked and willing present. And all he knows is that he just can’t do it. Not like this.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen repeats dumbly as he rushes out of the door and slams it behind him leaving a stricken Jared sprawled out on the bed.

**********

Jensen is up early the next morning, lying in bed and berating himself over his moment of weakness the night before. He’s pushing a pillow to his face and mumbling “fucking pussy” repeatedly as Danneel prances in, perky as a cheerleader with a coffee IV.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Jensen groans from beneath his pillow.

“What? I can’t come visit darling Uncle Jeff? ” she huffs, feigning annoyance. “Speaking of, what a delicious man that is. Remind me to take him out for a ride when I’m done writing my valedictorian speech.”

“Can we keep your vagina out of this conversation?”

“Well that depends, doesn’t it? Did you consummate your relationship with the tall one yet?”

Jensen is silent beneath the pillow.

“Hmmm, can’t hear you,” she trills, lying down next to him on the bed and propping herself on one elbow.

He pulls the pillow away from his face but can’t look at her. “I couldn’t do it. He offered. Was lying there on the bed and I…I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t the right time."

Her face freezes, hard as stone. “Not the right time. You had a chance to fuck him and you stopped because it was not the right time.”

Jensen frowns. “It doesn’t mean anything. Momentary lapse, I’ll finish it tonight.”

She smiles then, the tiny dimple in the corner of her mouth suddenly more malicious than endearing. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to work out for you. Jared was on his way out when I came in. Something about staying with Chad the rest of the semester? I don’t know, he was rushing too fast for me to get it all.”

“He left? But he can’t leave!” Jensen startles, jumping up and dragging on the clothes he had thrown hastily on the floor the night before in his rush to lay in bed and sulk.

“Where the hell are you going? He’s gone, Jensen. You lost. Suck it up and hand me the keys to my new car,” Danneel demands, wiggling her fingers at him patronizingly.

“I can’t lose,” Jensen insists and then stops. He looks at her for a moment and emotion surges through him suddenly. “I can’t lose him.”

He runs out the door so fast he doesn’t see her face fall.

PART THREE