tebtosca: (Jared Nerd HQ why hello there)
[personal profile] tebtosca
Title: The Midnight Hour
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2818
Warnings: Fairy!Jensen, prostitution, wing kink

Summary: Jared has to admit that Chad is right when he sees the guy with the gossamer wings.

Author's Notes: Creature-hooker-crackfic written for [livejournal.com profile] smpc because why not. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] alezig for the original idea and [livejournal.com profile] fiercelynormal for the beta ♥



It all starts with Chad, because of course it does.

When the world finds out about the existence of supernatural beings among them, it’s a shock, to say the least. Finding out that the local butcher is a goblin or that your kid’s kindergarten teacher is a kitsune? It’s one thing to guess that the starting center for the Spurs is a giant, but to find out he’s actually a giant? That’s some crazy shit.

But it’s that very integration in the community that ultimately brings about the normalizing of relations between the supernatural and humanity. The government passes anti-discrimination laws, and eventually most people don’t think much about the fact that the Mayor is rumored to be a unicorn in disguise.

What does this have to do with Chad? Well, where there is normalization, eventually there is prostitution. And where there is prostitution, there is Chad.

Or, as he puts it, he’s a connoisseur of the fine art of love.

Especially love that involves hot redheads with bifurcated tongues.

The town’s most well-known brothel for formerly mythical creatures is run by one Samantha Ferris, who is apparently a gryphon whose only nod towards her real shape while in humanoid form is a leonine mane of teased hair. The supernatural brothel business is legal but underground, tittered about in polite company by scandalized humans and not-so-humans, but protected by Mayor Rosenbaum and the others in his administration who like to patronize Madame Ferris’ establishment on weekends.

Chad tells Jared all about his exploits there one night over beer and wings at Kane’s after work.

Jared doesn’t particularly understand why he’s friends with Chad, considering that they are complete opposites, but they’ve known each other since college and Chad helped get him his current job. Plus, apathy is the cousin of familiarity, and his relationship with Chad encompasses both.

So, back to the redhead.

“She has this tongue, man. It’s split in two so she can lick both sides of my dick at the same time. And she has a tail that she uses to fuck me in the butt.”

Jared almost chokes on a chicken bone.

“I mean, you’re a homo, so you probably like that assplay stuff, right? Maybe I can get her to do us both at the same time if you promise not to get your rainbow love juice on me.”

Jared looks up at Chad, who is wiggling his eyebrows in that way that says “I’m doing you a favor by returning this stapler that I stole from you in the first place.”

“My rainbow love juice wouldn’t get within fifty feet of you, Murray.”

Chad shrugs. “Your loss. But I know for a fact that you aren’t doing anything this Saturday night, so you are coming with me to check out the goods.”

“They are people, Chad, not goods.” Jared pauses when Chad does the eyebrow thing again. “Okay, maybe not people-people, but they are sentient beings with feelings--” Chad starts making wretching noises “—and treating them like pieces of meat just doesn’t seem right.”

“Dude,” Chad says, exasperated. “You have never seen happier hookers than these folks. This is not some shady creature trafficking operation we’re talking about.”

“I don’t know…” Jared trails off, but he’s intrigued enough that he knows he’s going to give in.

“Just go once and see. I mean, if you don’t get laid soon your dick is going to fall off.”

“If you talk about my dick or your ass one more time, I’m going to start getting suspicious about your rainbow love juice.”

“Dude!”

==

Sure enough, that Saturday night finds Jared following Chad to a nondescript warehouse on the south side of town. Chad makes an elaborate spectacle of the “secret” knock he uses on the door, before whispering the word “phoenix” into the peephole that appears right after it. Jared is shocked not only that the display seems to have worked, but that someone would give any kind of secret info to Chad of all people.

“My man!” Chad exclaims when the door opens, fist-bumping the at least seven foot, one-eyed Cyclops bouncer, who looks at Jared suspiciously with his, well, one eye.

“This is my boy, Jared. I cleared it with Sam first, no big,” Chad continues, patting ol’ One Eye on the belly nearly skipping down the stairs leading into the main brothel area.

“Be respectful. You hear me, human?” Cyclops says with a grunt and Jared can only meep out a brief “Sir, yes, sir!” before running after Chad.

“Chad, I’m not sure about this—oh.”

Jared looks around the carefully appointed room, with its low lights, cherry wood bar, and red velvet furnishings like a 1920s speakeasy. More than that though, is the shock of seeing so many supernatural creatures in their element, letting parts of themselves that are carefully hidden from view out in the real world so as to not scare the humans existing with them in this delicate balance called society.

“Right?” Chad says, as smug as Jared has ever seen him, which is pretty damn smug. “Let’s get a drink and then we can peruse.”

Jared follows him over to the bar, where an actual Centaur is mixing drinks.

“Aldis, good to see you, bro! Two whiskey sours for me and my boy, Jared.” Chad winks at the Centaur, who just chuckles and starts making the drinks.

“Newbie, huh?” Aldis asks good-naturedly, pushing the glass across the bar as Jared scrambles to get his wallet out to tip what he hopes is the going rate for half-equine bartenders.

“That obvious?” Jared replies and Aldis just laughs and goes to attend to another patron.

“Okay,“ Chad starts, turning a little on the bar stool to better glance out on the main floor area, where various creatures and their human clients are snuggling together on couches and at tables.

“That is Danneel, my forked tongue goddess. She’s a lamia,” Chad says, pointing to a ridiculously gorgeous redhead wearing a leather bustier and a smirk. She looks over at Chad and flicks her indeed-forked tongue suggestively.

“Aren't those blood-drinking succubi of some sort?”

“If by blood you mean jizz, then yes.”

“Oh, god.”

Chad gestures over to two petite brunettes sitting intertwined with each other over the generous lap of an older gentlemen.

“That’s Sandy and Genevieve. They are wood nymph sisters and they are always a two for one special if you’re into that sort of thing.”

“Still gay over here.”

“Yeah, okay.” Chad next nods over to a handsome guy that must be at least as tall as Jared, with turquoise blue scales running along the side of his sharp cheekbones and smoke coming out of his nostrils. “That’s Tom, he’s a dragon. He could hold a big guy like you down and give it to you like he means it.”

“First of all, boundaries, Murray,” Jared says. “And second of all, he’s cute but not my type.”

“You have a type? I didn’t realize that celibate lame-a-zoids have types. The Chad learns new things every day.”

“I don’t know whether I’m more offended by the phrase ‘lame-a-zoid’ or you speaking in third person.”

Chad rolls his eyes and knocks back the last of his drink. “Alright then, you and your special tastes might like Misha over there. “

Jared follows his gaze to what appears to be a grown man with black hair, big blue eyes, and five o’clock shadow wearing a diaper.

“He’s wearing a diaper.”

“He’s a cherub. It’s part of his look.”

Jared sighs, suddenly completely uncomfortable and ready to make for the door faster than Cyclops can blink his one eye.

Chad must see the panic in his eyes, because he ushers Aldis over for another drink before hopping up out of the bar stool.

“Look, Jay. Just have one more drink and then maybe go talk to a few people. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want, but at least say you tried.”

Jared looks quickly between Chad and the floor and then begrudgingly nods. “Okay, one more drink and a turn around the floor, then I’m out. Got it?”

That seems to please Chad enough. “Got it. Now I have a date with a tail in my ass.”

”Boundaries, Murray!”

Chad just snickers and takes off towards the awaiting Danneel. He gives Jared one final wave before she leads him off to wherever it is that tail-induced buttsex happens.

Jared’s on the very last sip of his whiskey and almost ready to sneak out without talking to anyone, when a deep yet lyrical voice floats over him.

“Is this seat taken?”

Jared is just about to tell the guy to take any seat he likes, when he turns around and sees his new neighbor.

And is suddenly incapable of things like “speech” and “movement.”

Delicate gossamer wings, tinged green with threads of gold spun into it, spread out at least three feet in either direction, vibrating half-speed like a hummingbird on Quaaludes.

But it’s what the wings are attached to that is the cause of Jared’s current condition.

“I haven’t seen you around here before. First timer?” the man, creature, fairy, love of Jared’s life, asks.

“Hrfmph,” Jared replies, and he’s pretty proud that he manages to turn that into two syllables.

The man laughs and the sound is as airy as windchimes. His eyelashes, which Jared swears must have gold dust on them, lower to half-mast over his eyes, which literally glow emerald even under the dim lighting of the bar.

Then the fae tugs the plump pink flesh of his bottom lip in between his teeth and it’s a wrap.

“You’re beautiful,” Jared blurts out, and he can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed about it, because there is a fairy prince standing in front of him and he has golden wings and eyelashes and—oh god, freckles, that’s not even fair.

“I know,” the fae agrees, coming closer to Jared and running one hand over the front of Jared’s button-down. He leans in closer until Jared can catch his scent, an impossible mixture of honeysuckle and pheromones.

“I’m Jensen.”

“Jared.”

“Mine.”

“Hrfmph.”

Wings flutter in time with Jensen’s laughter as he slips his hand into Jared’s and starts tugging him back towards where Chad and Danneel disappeared before.

Jared doesn’t think he’s quite ready for what’s back there, but his dick seems to disagree with him.

==

The first thing Jared notices about the room Jensen brings him to is all the plants. Vines hang from the ceiling and curl down the wall, while what appears to be an honest-to-god tree seems to be growing out of the corner next to a small waterfall built into the wall. A strange yet lyrical humming sound pipes throughout the room, although Jared can’t see any speakers.

“Do you like my chamber, Jared?” Jensen asks, wings fluttering as he stares right into Jared’s eyes and starts pulling the already skimpy clothing off his lean, golden, freckled oh god body.

“It’s very organic,” Jared replies, feeling his face pinking as Jensen actually levitates a few inches off the ground and practically floats over to him.

Jensen runs one graceful finger over the contours of Jared’s cheekbone and then down to the curve of his cupid’s bow. He makes a pleased little noise before reaching up and pressing just the whisper of a kiss to Jared’s lips, before pulling away and flitting back towards the round bed in the middle of the room.

Jared shakes his head a few times, attempting to clear it of the humming and the smell of chlorophyll. He blinks twice but then when he focuses again, there is Jensen, nude body lying languidly on the green silk sheets, wings spread out around him like a shimmering promise.

Jared imagines this is how fairy porn starts, but he doesn’t have the bookmarks Chad does on his personal computer to make sure.

“Come here, Jared,” Jensen says, voice lilting, holding out his arms to beckon Jared to him. The corner of his plush cotton candy mouth is tilting up, like there’s a secret that he wants to share if Jared would just get close enough to let him.

“I think you’re enchanting me,” Jared murmurs, feeling his limbs move against his will as he moves closer to the bed. He starts pulling off items of clothing as he goes, until he’s there, kneeling on the green silk, bare and proud as the day he was born.

Jensen’s eyes, shining now like tiny jewels, roam hungrily across his body, and his wings start fluttering faster in what Jared assumes now is arousal.

“I think you are the beautiful one,” Jensen says, reaching forward and running both sets of fingernails down the front of Jared’s chest, scritching little circles around the peaks of Jared’s nipples and down to the tuffs of hair leading a trail from Jared’s belly to his now highly-interested dick.

There’s not much Jared can think to respond to that, so instead he surges forward and wraps his hands in the golden strands of Jensen’s hair as he tugs him forward for the most sweeping kiss of his entire life.

Jensen lets out a surprised huff that turns quickly to a happy hum, and he opens sweetly to Jared’s urgency. Their tongues battle for dominance, Jared drinking down everything Jensen gives him as he rolls the taste Jensen’s sweet-like-candy spit around his mouth.

The world drifts into a haze, the air suddenly humid and damp. Jared finally pulls back just so he can gasp in a breath, and Jensen uses the chance to smirk once with those slick lips and then turn himself until he is kneeling on all fours with his wings spread majestically.

He tilts his pert little ass up in the air and wiggles it. The little fairy minx.

Jared decides to go with his first instinct, and leans forward to grab that round handful in both palms, kneading the flesh until the skin flushes a lovely shade of pink.

“My wings. Use the oil from my wings,” Jensen says with a tiny gasp, his voice suddenly short of breath and tinny.

Jared’s confused for a moment before he catches on and runs three fingers up the base of the wings, right where they attach along Jensen’s spine. The thin membrane is secreting a natural slick that feels luxurious under his fingertips, so Jared can’t help bringing both hands up to rub along the swirls of gold that spin patterns across the delicate wings.

Jensen is moaning now, ass pressing back against Jared’s steel-hard erection in time with the way Jared’s hands are massaging his wings. Jared quickly realizes how erotic this is for the fae, and he continues his ministrations until his hands are practically glowing with the glitter-flecked slick being produced.

Finally, before Jared’s dick threatens to explode all over the wiggling little mass before he even gets inside of it, he slides a hand back down the curve and thrusts one, and then two, fingers right into the tiny pink hole waiting to entice him.

Jensen grunts, voice deeper than before, and Jared adds a third finger in, opening the fae up all the while his other hand continues to rub along the vibrating gossamer running along Jensen’s spine.

“Now, Jared, please!” Jensen cries out, and Jared has never been able to refuse a begging fairy.

He slides his fingers out but replaces them quickly with his thumb, tugging the now-glistening muscle open enough for his dick to break right through the ring and punch its way inside in one long movement.

As soon as he’s all the way in, Jared’s stills, letting Jensen adjust to the intrusion while he himself tries not to come instantly at the feel of the vice-like grip of his ass. He starts a slow grind, not pulling out even a centimeter, but just pressing his pelvis further into Jensen until they meld together completely. At the same time, Jared tilts forward until both his hands are once again able to stroke the gossamer membrane blanketing his partner.

It doesn’t last too much longer after that; as soon as Jared starts to move, the overwhelming sensation of Jensen all around him and permeating all of his senses is too much to bear. When Jensen comes from just the feel of Jared’s hands on his wings, it tips Jared right over the edge, and his orgasm rocks him instantly.

“You’ll be back,” Jensen says a few minutes later, after they come down from the initial rush. He snuggles into Jared’s body, sticky and sweet, smelling like the first brush of spring. He radiates peace, and Jared can feel it seeping into his pores.

Eventually, when he gets done wiping Jensen’s glitter-infused jizz off his body, Jared will have to admit that Chad was absolutely right.

Rainbow love juice, indeed.
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