FIC: The Sake of Momentum (Part 2B)

[tebtosca]

They get one more week to acclimate before finally being clued in to what their daily duties are going to entail.

“Laundry?” Jensen says, as Ty stops in front of a row of industrial sized machines.

“Someone has to keep you all in shirts,” Ty replies, smirking.

Jerk, Jensen thinks.

“Padalecki-1 is in charge of collection, so you need to figure out a system,” Ty instructs, and he’s already backing out of the area. “Which means ‘don’t bother me with stupid questions’, in case you missed that.”

“Yes, sir,” Jensen replies with a completely fake smile. He knows better than to rock the boat and make Ty mad. Especially, since he’s lucky enough to have Jared connected to his daily duty. If he has to actually work, at least that made it a little easier.

“Good.” Ty nods. “The busy work is just until you two are ready to start the process, so enjoy it while you’re still active.”

Jensen bites his tongue, wishing he could ask about these little mysterious clues that people keep dropping but never actually explaining. He and Jared have tried to figure it out, but all it’s done is make Jared even more insistent about them stopping the pills. Jensen, on the other hand, is too scared to mess up something that might be keeping them well, and there’s a part of him that is too scared not to listen to an authority figure like Dr. Pellegrino.

They are both healthy and strong, right? Yes, the weird feelings are still there. But at this point, they are mostly when he is in close proximity to Jared himself. He hasn’t said anything to Jared, but sometimes he finds Jared watching him kind of intensely. He thinks that perhaps Jared is feeling it as well.

There’s a large poster on the wall with picture descriptions of the laundry process. He’s glad that there isn’t anything to read on the poster, but that just makes him think that this is meant to be a duplicate duty only. He’s just figuring out where all the soap is, when Jared comes in holding a large basket full of white cotton.

Jensen laughs. The basket is so high that he can barely see the top half of Jared’s head.

“This is so not funny,” Jared says, pouting as he drops the basket in front of Jensen’s feet with a huff.

“It’s hilarious, actually,” Jensen replies, kicking the basket to the side and poking Jared lightly in the ribs.

That intense expression flitters across Jared’s face but then is gone in an instant. It makes Jensen’s toes tingle. He wonders that if he feels like this with the fever-reducing medication, what would he feel like without it? He remembers the final days in the home. How his skin felt stretched and tight, his nipples swollen, and—more embarrassingly—his penis got engorged for the very first time.

Luckily, that hasn’t happened since he’s gotten to the Nursery, but there are moments when he wonders what would happen if it did.

Jensen shakes himself out of his reverie, mentally scolding himself for thinking such thoughts when they are supposed to be doing laundry.

He’s never realized it fully before, but now he does: his body belongs to the State. His life belongs to the State. It wasn’t ever something he worried about growing up, although Genevieve would put the thought in his mind every now and again, and there were moments he would look at the Dinwiddie or Worthy duplicates and wonder what they went home to, if they went home at all.

He finds himself suddenly reaching for Jared, not even knowing he’s doing it until his hands are bracing themselves on Jared’s shoulders.

“Jensen?” Jared asks, and hearing his name—his name—on the other boy’s lips is still a new enough occurrence that it makes him giddy.

Jensen’s hands roam up the side of Jared’s neck. Jared leans into them, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment before opening again and darkening as he looks at him.

“Jensen,” he repeats, his voice suddenly deeper than his years. He pulls Jensen closer, wrapping his skinny arms around him until their bodies are flush together—one long line of flesh.

“Jared,” Jensen mumbles into his neck, the skin warm where Jensen’s lips are touching. The heat feels good, and Jensen finds himself rubbing his mouth along the curve of Jared’s neck and across his smooth jawline.

Jared’s hands tighten where they are twisted in Jensen’s shirt, and he pulls them together even closer than Jensen thought possible. Their limbs slot together, and before he knows what’s happening, Jensen is letting out a tiny little moan right into the sudden damp of Jared’s skin.

“I don’t what’s happening to me, Jensen. But you feel it too, right? Tell me you do,” Jared begs, one hand sliding up to the back of Jensen’s neck and the other now cradling his hip.

Jensen pulls back just enough to look him in the eyes. He’s dizzy, the steam and heat from the machines mixing in with all the flustering sensations coursing through his body. His hands slide down and clutch in the material of Jared’s shirt, right above his heart.

“I do feel it, I do,” Jensen agrees, and he barely has time to tilt his head back before Jared is leaning down and pressing his mouth to Jensen’s.

It’s like time stands still. It’s just a press of lips, chaste and closed, but it’s like all the pieces of the puzzle slot neatly together and the lock to this confusing door busts open.

Jensen’s only seen someone kissing in the holograms. Only seen it in the archival footage of happy couples before the Plague and the Wars, back when things were simple and before the duplicates were born. The State says the duplicates would bring that happiness back, that they would save the world and allow the normal people, the Originals, the chance to have what the hologram shows them.

But right now, as he pulls back from Jared and then dives back in—mouth opening ever so slightly on every pass—all he wants is for them to have the chance to feel this. To feel the wonder and the pleasure and the thrill of togetherness.

“Wow,” Jared exclaims as they finally pull back from each other. It might have been only moments or hours later, but Jensen can’t tell you which because his brain is a mess.

“Yeah, wow,” Jensen agrees, and his laugh is giddy and free.

“Laundry,” Jared says firmly, like he’s trying to convince himself. Jensen laughs again, and kicks the basket at his feet.

“Laundry.”

With a tiny wave and a goofy grin, Jared heads back out the door, leaving Jensen alone with his industrial washers.

==

They exist like this for a few more weeks, working their shifts during the day, work coming by rote after a while and the ache in their muscles becoming familiar. They spend their recreation time together in their corner, and Jared tells him stories from children’s books he remembers reading when the Carlson dupe was teaching him. Their pinky fingers twist together as they talk—backs up against the wall.

No one seems to take notice except Nurse Cindy. At first Jensen is worried that she is going to tell the doctors, and that they’ll somehow figure out about the secret kisses and holding hands and feelings, and try to separate the two of them. It all comes to a head one day when she overhears Jared calling him “Jensen.”

A shrewd look comes over her face, and Jared looks stricken by what they both see as a tremendous mistake. For a moment, they think that it’s all going to come crashing down, and for no reason other than their need to claim an identity for themselves.

But it doesn’t crash, and that’s the most surprising thing about this so far to Jensen.

“I don’t know who this Jensen guy is, but you tell him he has a lovely name,” Nurse Cindy says lightly, glancing over at Jensen until he realizes what her choice of wording means. “No matter what happens.”

He draws another picture of her that night. Her hair flying around her in the imagined wind, and the sunshine that he’s never seen surrounding her like a halo. He slips it in her apron the next morning when she comes to bring him his fruit and toast.

Later that night, the lock on his door clicks, but no one comes inside. Instead, for the first time since he’s been there, he can push the door open from the inside.

Curiosity gets the better of him, and he peeks out into the hallway. The only thing out there is vague darkness and silence, but that only makes him braver as he tiptoes out and over to Jared’s door. Just as he’s about to try to open it, the door bursts open, almost hitting Jensen in the process.

“What the—” Jared says, as Jensen huffs.

They stare at each other for a moment, not understanding what is happening until Jared lifts up a piece of paper.

“It was pushed under the door,” he explains, with a shrug.

On the paper, is Nurse Cindy and her sunshine halo. He realizes right then and there that this is her show of gratitude.

It takes about five seconds more of hesitation, before Jared is grabbing Jensen into his arms. Shutting the door behind them, he drags Jensen further into the room.

“I have no idea why this is happening, but I’m not going to waste it,” Jared says, laughing breathlessly. He grabs Jensen’s face with both hands and starts devouring his mouth.

Jensen’s completely lost in Jared’s kisses—his entire body singing with them. He lets Jared drag him back until their legs hit the bed, and they tumble down together onto it. It’s a tight fit, especially with how quickly Jared is growing. But like everything they’ve done together since they met, they make it work.

They’ve become good at this, the kissing part, learning together like everything else. Those early kisses were sweet and pure—just mouth on mouth and sharing breath. That progressed to more—tiny licks and tongues exploring.

The past few days had been intense, Jared becoming increasingly fervent, and Jensen had been almost afraid to ask why while Jared was sucking on his bottom lip like a starving man.

They hadn’t progressed much into touching. Jensen is still a little worried about the way his body will react, and a tiny part of him concerned that the fever will come rushing back.

Now, tangled together on Jared’s twin bed, their hands begin roaming until Jared’s hands are pressing into Jensen’s hips, and Jensen’s hands are clutched in Jared’s hair.

Jared moans into his mouth, and Jensen can’t get enough—thrilled with how exciting all of these new sounds and experiences are.

“Jensen,” he mumbles, hands sliding down farther until they are under Jensen’s bottom, and pulling their lower halves together.

That’s when he feels it—Jared’s penis, swollen and hard against him.

Jensen gasps, shocked. The only time that had ever happened to him was in the grip of the fever before the Nursery, and every association he had with it was one of ill health and delirium.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Jared keeps repeating, pulling Jensen towards him unrelentingly and grinding them together. Jensen just hangs on, hands tightening in Jared’s hair until it feels like he’s going to rip the strands out.

“Jensen,” Jared cries out one last time. His hips still suddenly, but an odd dampness soaks through their sleep pants.

They lie there for a few minutes—breathing heavily and still clinging to each other—before anyone speaks again.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Jensen finally asks, still tentative.

“I stopped taking the pills,” Jared admits, pushing his face into Jensen’s neck as if he’s scared of Jensen’s reaction.

Somehow, Jensen isn’t at all surprised, and to reassure Jared, he brings his arms up around him into a loose hug.

“It feels so good, Jensen,” Jared whispers, pushing his wet groin against Jensen’s again, like he can’t even help it.

“What does?” Jensen whispers back, not moving away even an inch.

Jared drops a light kiss on Jensen’s neck, then his jaw, and up to his mouth. They kiss like that for a long moment, tongues dancing.

“Ever since I stopped taking the pills, it’s like my body is alive again,” Jared explains, hands gripping Jensen’s bottom and tugging until Jensen lifts his leg and swings it over Jared’s hip.

“But the fever…” Jensen tries to protest, but Jared shuts him up with another kiss.

“It’s not like the fever. It’s brighter, clearer. When I look at you, when I touch you, it’s like I want to crawl inside of you,” Jared replies. He’s panting again, the stiff weight in his pants growing once more.

“Jared.” His voice breaks, as he throws his head back.

“They are trying to drug us, Jensen. I don’t know why they are doing it or what they are preparing us for, but we don’t have to let them.”

“This is our life, Jared.”

Jared crawls on top of him, large and warm and overwhelming over him. “Then let’s take a little part of it back.”

“Okay,” Jensen replies after a brief pause. He holds his hands to Jared’s face, already thinking about where he can hide his medication. “Now kiss me. We don’t have much time, and if Ty finds me in here, they’ll separate us.”

He doesn’t have to ask twice, as Jared swoops down into his embrace.




The medical exams pick up to three times a week over the next few weeks, Dr. Pellegrino or his colleague Dr. Ferris writing mysterious things in his chart without saying much of anything to him. One time, well into the second week, they pull out a machine that beeps ominously as they spread cold jelly across his abdomen and look at the monitor that is turned so that he can’t see.

Dr. Ferris’s face doesn’t change at all as she watches the monitor, but she gives a small jerky nod and scribbles something down in her chart before handing him a towel to wipe off the jelly and instructing him to get dressed.

Jensen doesn’t say a word, knows that just nodding will get him out of there faster and allow him to get back to his room or to laundry duty, where a grinning Jared will be hiding behind the machines ready to greet him with a kiss.

Jensen knows that it’s dangerous to ignore what’s happening to them, but it’s just so easy to give into these new sensations that he’s feeling when he’s with Jared, or even when they are apart. Jensen had stopped taking his medication only a few days before, and already his body is beginning to respond in a ridiculously sensitive way when Jared presses his lips to his neck or his chest or the dip of his bellybutton.

Everything changes later that day in the recreation room, when a figure from his past at the Home shows up in front of Jensen.

Cohen-3 stands there, one hand on his hip and the other cradling his protruding abdomen.

Jensen’s hands start shaking so badly that he drops the pencil he’s holding right to the ground.

Cohen-3 walks slowly over to him and sits down, his smile large and serene. His hair is neat and brushed and his light-colored eyes are still as bright as they ever were. The Cohen line is a fine and handsome one, their Original some kind of important aristocrat.

“Ackles-1! I can’t believe it’s you. When did you get here?” Cohen-3 asks, still beaming. Jensen is so dumbfounded by the fact that he appears to be pregnant that he almost doesn’t respond.

“Oh, a little while back,” Jensen finally replies, his voice faint. He picks the pencil up off the floor just to have something to do.

Cohen-3 rubs his belly and hums a little. “That’s probably why I didn’t see you come in. They had me on best rest for a few months because of complications. Didn’t realize the second one would be a little harder.” He sees Jensen’s stricken expression and must misconstrue it for concern. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m fine now. In the home stretch!”

“You’re pregnant,” Jensen finally chokes out the obvious.

Cohen-3 looks at Jensen a little strangely, but nods. “Of course, that’s why we’re here. Only the lucky ones like us who get the fever are blessed with the ability to give life back to the State.”

Jensen’s shoulders begin shaking so badly that Cohen-3 seems to notice.

“Oh, I know it must be hard that you haven’t been blessed yourself yet. But you need to let your body complete the process before the doctors can give you your first.”

“I have to go back to work. To the laundry,” Jensen says quickly, needing to get out of there before his mind explodes.

Cohen-3 leans over and squeezes his arm knowingly. “They had me on laundry duty when I first got here, too. But don’t worry, as soon as you’re pregnant they’ll put you on light duty in the sewing room.”

“I, oh,” Jensen stumbles, pulling back from his grasp like it’s burning and rushing out of the recreation room back towards the laundry room.

==

Ty keeps Jared working on the other side of the facility the entire day, so Jensen is a wreck by the time he gets back to his room later in the evening. Nurse Cindy has taken to leaving their doors unlocked at random intervals, so as to not make it too suspicious. He hopes against hope that tonight is one of those nights.

Sure enough, after dinner—only managing to choke down a few bites of chicken due to the queasiness in his stomach—he sits quietly until bed checks are done and enough time passes for the click of the door being unlocked. He waits a few beats before rushing out and practically throwing himself against Jared when he opens his door.

“Hey.” Jared looks surprised by his enthusiasm, but wraps Jensen up in his long arms and pulls him into the room. He places a soft kiss on Jensen’s mouth and Jensen takes a moment to stay still and let the touch center him.

They spend a few minutes wrapped together, just standing in the middle of the room and holding each other as their tongues tangle together. For the first time since his meeting with Cohen-3, Jensen feels a sense of peace.

It doesn’t last long, however. He pulls back and motions for Jared to come sit on the bed next to him. Jared wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, but then gets serious when he sees the expression on Jensen’s face.

Jensen sits on the bed, rubbing his damp palms on the cotton of his sleep pants.

“What’s wrong, Jensen?” Jared asks, sitting down next to him and reaching over to fold their hands together. He holds Jensen’s hand up to his mouth and kisses his knuckles. Jensen can’t help but sigh and smile a little.

“I saw one of the duplicates from the home where I grew up. He’s few years older than us, but he ended up here,” Jensen starts, and Jared gives him a look as if to tell him to go on.

Jensen pauses, not knowing how to say the next part. “He’s pregnant.”

Jared looks momentarily perplexed, but then shrugs. “Okay. I mean, it’s rarer for male dupes to be carriers, but we learned in class that it’s possible. What’s the problem?”

“Jared, have you stopped to wonder how and why there are several pregnant teenagers here?” Jensen asks, eyebrows raised.

Jared’s face is calm for a moment before realization crosses it. “Are you saying that they were sent here on purpose to get pregnant?”

Jensen slowly nods his head, and Jared’s face is stricken before he continues on. “Are you saying the we were sent here for that, too?”

“I think so,” Jensen whispers, and grabs Jared’s hand again to steady their shaking. “The way he was talking…I think the fever is the sign that it’s possible, and the process they are having us go under is to prepare us to have babies.”

“For the State?” Jared chokes out. “They are breeding us?”

“I don’t know, but I think so,” Jensen says helplessly. “Jared, I’m so scared.”

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay,” Jared says, pulling Jensen into his arms and dropping sweet kisses on his face. Jensen clings to him, breathing in his scent and letting his warmth wrap him in a blanket of comfort.

“How do you know that for sure?” Jensen asks, Jared’s hands brushing his face.

“We’re together, right? We’re strong and smart and they can’t take that away from us,” Jared replies, his voice as fierce as Jensen’s ever heard it before. It reminds him so much of Genevieve, that Jensen wants to weep and cling to him even stronger.

Jensen doesn’t have any more words. He falls back on the bed, pulling Jared along with him until he covers Jensen’s body with his own. Their movement becomes more urgent, the material of their shirts being pulled off frantically and thrown onto the floor without a thought. Jared starts mouthing his way down Jensen’s chest. Stopping on the increasingly sensitive nubs of Jensen’s nipples, he pulls them with his teeth and then soothes the pricks of hurt with small licks of his tongue.

“Jared!” Jensen gasps.

Jared keeps going lower, trails of saliva running wet across his abdomen and dipping into his bellybutton. Jensen laughs breathlessly as tickling fingers and tongue trace circles down the cut of his hip bones.

“Can I, Jensen? Let me make you feel good,” Jared pleads, his fingers wrapped in the waist band of Jensen’s sleep pants as if he’s waiting for permission to take them off. They’ve never gone this far before, limiting themselves to stolen touches through cotton.

Jensen nods, still a little afraid to voice all the things that his body is feeling, but knowing that he wants every single bit of it with Jared.

Jared is pulling Jensen’s pants off in one fell swoop and nosing around the fine thatch of hair before Jensen can even finish the movement.

Jensen’s erection is hard and proud rising up against towards his belly, a surprising and intense side effect since stopping the daily medication. He realizes then that the medication must be used to tamp down the urges that their bodies naturally felt once the fever had set in. Although he’s not exactly sure why, it must have something to do with the preparation process the doctors are putting them under.

It doesn’t matter much now, because Jared’s curious tongue is licking circles around the sides of his thighs and up over Jensen’s rock-hard penis. There’s no grace in it, no skill, because neither of them having any idea of what they are doing past the idea that it feels ridiculously good.

Jared is kissing the underside of the shaft, his nose teasing the crown. He flattens his tongue and licks a long stripe up and down, then around, and back again. His eyes are closed, and there is a weird mix of concentration and devotion on his face. Jensen is so overwhelmed that all he can do is lie back and open his legs wider in invitation.

Then Jensen feels Jared sliding nimble fingers to the underside of his sack, massaging around and then down and swiping teasingly against the crack of Jensen’s bottom. Side to side they go, ghosting their touch close to the round furl of his hole.

“Let me,” Jared is mumbling again, and his mouth is going lower until his tongue is flat against the tiny muscle that his fingers just sought.

“Jared, what are you doing?” Jensen cries out, and he can feel his entire face grow hot with a blush. Jared doesn’t stop though, just uses his giant hands to spread Jensen further so he can break him open with the wetness and power of his tongue.

Jensen’s never imagined anything could feel like this—his body on fire with sensation as Jared breaks him open from the inside out. He’s afraid that he’s moaning too loudly. The fear of discovery courses through him for a moment before it ebbs quickly away with the feel of Jared pressing his thumb right alongside his tongue.

“Jared, please. I need you,” Jensen begs, not knowing what he’s asking for, but needing everything the boy can give him.

Jared pulls out of him completely. Jensen is momentarily bereft by the emptiness, before Jared is moving quickly up his body and blanketing him. Jared seals their mouths back together. Jensen knows that this should feel disgusting—knowing where Jared’s mouth just was—but he can’t feel anything other than euphoria that they get to have this.

There’s a sudden, sharp stretch at the brink of his hole, and Jensen realizes with mild hysteria that Jared is pressing himself inside of him. Jensen cries out from the burst of pain, but Jared just mouths kisses over his face, shushing him. He slows the push inside, but keeps sliding into him and joining them in a way that neither of them ever learned or thought possible.

Once Jared is all the way inside of him, pelvis and sack flush to Jensen’s body, Jared opens his eyes and stares down at him. The look of awe on the boy’s face is almost too much for Jensen, who just opens his mouth wide and keens a broken sound.

The shocking pain of the intrusion throbs brightly for a moment, and Jared must sense it because he is keeping himself very still. Finally after a long moment of them sharing panting breaths, Jensen gives a tiny nod, and Jared starts moving again. Not four strokes later Jensen feels it, a bright burst of pleasure that courses through his body unexpectedly.

“There!” Jensen huffs out. Jared looks bewildered for a second, but gets the idea soon enough. He attempts to keep a steady enough rhythm to hit whatever it was inside of Jensen that made that glorious pleasure happen.

“Jensen, Jensen,” Jared gasps, his hips snapping harder and faster. His chosen name on Jared’s lips, combined with the thrusts inside of him and the movement of Jared’s belly over Jensen’s erection, is just enough to send him falling over the cliff of completion.

Jensen cries out, white erupting from him in the most dizzying pleasure that he’s ever felt. Nothing like that has ever happened to him, and he’s just barely able to process it before Jared is following him over and finishing deep inside of him.

Jensen can feel the burst of wetness deep within him. It fills him with a sudden and solemn sense of connection to Jared, beyond any that he’s ever felt before. He knows—as surely as he knows his own name—that this act has bonded them for as long as they are on this journey’s path.

Jensen hisses as Jared pulls himself out of his body, the pinpricks of pain returning momentarily. Jared collapse on top of him, his breath coming so rapidly that Jensen almost asks him if he’s all right.

“Jared?”

“Yes, Jensen?”

The words Jensen has never spoken sit right on the tip of his lips. Words that they are taught mean selfishness if not applied to the greater good. Commander Richings taught them that.

In this moment, none of it matters. Not the State or the Commander or their duty or the world.

“I love you, Jared.”

“I love you, too, Jensen.”




It’s like the old saying goes, once you know something is happening, you suddenly see it everywhere.

Cassidy-17 is gone from the recreation room one day, and the talk is that she got taken to the other side of the facility to give birth. Cohen-3 is nearing the end of his pregnancy, and ends up back on bed rest. Chikezie-22 and Hartley-39 start showing, bellies pressing against white cotton proudly.

It suddenly makes the time he spends with Jared all the more precious. Stolen moments in the back of the laundry room and whispering in the corner of the rec room are fine, but it’s the nights they are able to spend together that make all the difference.

Some nights, the sound of the lock being undone doesn’t come. Usually those are the days that Nurse Cohan brings him his fruit and toast, and while Jensen realizes that Nurse Cindy needs her days off, it makes the time almost unbearable for him.

The next time she comes in, her face will attempt to stay a stoic mask, but there will be a flitter of something apologetic there. They never talk about it, Nurse Cindy and Jensen. The words never cross their lips because saying it out loud would somehow betray not only the risk that she is taking, but also the gratitude that he can never repay her.

He draws her more pictures. Sometimes of her—all smiles and dark hair blowing in the wind. Sometimes of himself, the features distorted in a way that he doesn’t quite understand but that come out of his fingertips against his will. He slips those in her apron and, the day after the darker ones, she’ll sometimes place a hand on the back of his neck. Besides Jared, her warmth is the only thing that gives him comfort in this cold, sterile place.

But the nights that he and Jared are together are the happiest nights of Jensen’s young life. It’s not just the physical aspect of it, though they explore each other’s bodies as if every inch is a wonderful adventure. It’s beyond that, being able to hold each other close, to tell each other secrets and fears and hopes in a whispered voice pressed against the other’s ear. It’s the tenderness of intimacy in a world that celebrates only duty.

A month after the first night that Jensen and Jared spend together, Jensen is in the medical suite getting the first of his thrice weekly exams. It’s by rote at this point—the coldness of the jelly, the methodical rhythm of the doctor’s hands, and the mute nod when asked questions about the medication that he had long since stopped taking. He had wondered if they would be able to tell, but besides the increase in physical pleasure and sensation when he’s near Jared, there doesn’t seem to be any other symptoms.

Dr. Ferris is in charge of exams on Mondays, and her routine is the same as any other time at the beginning. Her fingers massage over his abdomen, and it’s almost soothing enough at this point that Jensen can close his eyes and relax if the jelly that she then puts on wasn’t so chilled.

She’s running the wand over his stomach a few times when suddenly her hand just stops. It stays in one place for a long moment, long enough for Jensen to open his eyes and see what’s going on. Her face is still the usual mask, but there is a slight twitch at the corner of one eye that Jensen almost misses.

Her hand starts moving again, but the patterns she starts taking with the wand are different than the usual. Jensen will sometimes count the strokes, picturing the patterns in his head and then drawing them later in bright reds and yellows. It helps sometimes, to disassociate from what is happening to his body by turning it into beauty and light.

But this is different, and Jensen can feel panic tightening his chest.

Without a word, she puts down the wand and heads over to the intercom on the wall next to the door.

“I think you should come see this,” she says in a clipped voice, just loud enough for Jensen to hear the words, but barely.

Not two minutes later, both Dr. Pellegrino and Ty are coming into the room.

Jensen’s first instinct is to jump off the table and make a run for it, but they’ve gotten to the point where they don’t strap him down for examinations. He knows with Ty there especially, it would be a futile attempt that would serve him no good.

Dr. Ferris nods over to the monitor next to the bed that is attached to the wand. Jensen can’t see it from where he is laying, and his only indication that there is something on it worth looking at is the widening eyes on Dr. Pellegrino’s face.

“How is that possible?” he asks finally. His voice is as calm as his face, but Jensen can see the distress there clearly in his eyes behind the frames of his glasses.

Dr. Ferris swallows audibly, and for the first time ever, he sees nervousness crossing her face. “I’m not sure, Doctor. His body is obviously at the proper stage of the process, which was why we were going to begin prepping him for implantation soon.”

Jensen sits up quickly, alarm in every fiber of his being, but Ty takes a few steps towards him in a show of dominance. Jensen stays sitting, but doesn’t move from the table. His heart is beating wildly in his chest, but he listens as they talk as if he’s not in the room at all.

“Looks like someone beat you to the punch,” Dr. Pellegrino responds, and there’s an undercurrent of viciousness in the words that startles Jensen. The doctors—for all their disaffected nature—never seemed more than cogs in the machine. Seeing the anger and fear laced in their words is both new and frightening.

Dr. Ferris takes a step back, as if Dr. Pellegrino’s words are physically pushing her. Dr. Pellegrino glances once more at her dismissively, and then turns to Ty. “Take Ackles-1 back to his room. He needs his rest.”

Without another word, Ty is grabbing Jensen by the bicep and leading him back towards his room. Ty’s walking so swiftly that Jensen stumbles as he tries to keep up, but Ty doesn’t say one word to him as he pushes him into his room and locks the door behind him.

It’s during the workday, so Jared isn’t in the next room to even talk to through the vent. Jensen starts pacing the room, not knowing exactly what is going on but having a suspicion that can’t possibly be true.

Can it?

It seems like hours pass before Nurse Cindy comes flying into the room, shutting the door securely behind her. Her face is red and shiny, and it looks like she’s been running.

“What have you done?” she says incredulously, rushing over to him and just stopping before she reaches him.

He steps back instinctively, suddenly afraid. She must sense his fear, because her face softens and she reaches out to him with both hands on his hunched shoulders.

“Jensen,” she says, and it’s the first time she’s ever acknowledged his name. It should be a happy moment, but there is a gravity behind the words that tells him that what is coming next is anything but.

“I’m pregnant, aren’t I?”

The words pop out, unbidden. He doesn’t know how he knows, but suddenly he’s never been surer, and his hands fall instantly to cradle his still flat stomach.

She nods solemnly, but then turns and curses. “But it’s not possible. The inhibiters make it impossible. You shouldn’t even have the ability to engage in the physical act.”

“You mean the pills?” he asks, knowing the answer before she replies.

She nods again and turns back to him. “Yeah, besides the fact that you shouldn’t even know how, the inhibiters are supposed to stop both physical erection and the sexual urges caused by puberty.”

Her voice is so matter-of-fact, and it burns Jensen up inside that they can so casually talk about forcing a substance on them that changes the very chemistry of their bodies.

Who is he kidding? Their bodies never belonged to them for even one moment since birth.

“Is Jared going to get in trouble?” Jensen asks. What he really wants to ask is if they are going to be separated, but even putting the idea out into the universe is terrifying to him.

She breathes in deeply. “Jared’s the other father, right?”

Jensen nods, numbly. Father. They are going to be fathers.

Nurse Cindy closes her eyes tightly, a torn look crossing her face. She looks like she’s trying to make a decision, one that she is struggling with.

“Please, just tell me. Cindy, please,” he pleads, because there is already uncertainty literally growing inside of him. He doesn’t know how much more he can take.

She straightens up then and it seems her decision has been made.

“You and Jared were created to make this baby. They just didn’t think it would ever be this way, obviously.”

Jensen stares at her incredulously, her words making no sense. “What are you talking about? Do you know who our Originals are?”

“I do,” she states, but cuts him off with one palm when he looks at her excitedly. “But it’s a story for another time.

“Another time? I find out that not only was I being drugged, but that I’m now pregnant because no one taught me that was even possible? I’ve spent my whole life wondering who I am, and you tell me that not only do you know who my Original is, but that I was created for some top secret reason to breed with a boy that I didn’t even know until a few months ago? And you think another time would be good?”

“Jensen,” Nurse Cindy says, leaning over and placing her hands on his cheeks. He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until she’s wiping the moisture from his skin.

“I’m so scared,” he whispers, wrapping his fingers in the front of her shirt. Without the slightest hesitation, she wraps him up in her arms and pulls him into a hug, rocking him softly where they stand.

“You were supposed to cuddle,” she says suddenly with a laugh. It’s tinged with just enough hysteria that it makes him start laughing as well.

“We did cuddle,” he protests, head buried in her shoulder.

“Not like that!” she replies, and Jensen practically snorts.

There’s a moment of silence as the tension—broken for just the moment—returns. She gently pushes him back and looks him directly in the eye. Her face is as serious as he’s ever seen it before.

“They are going to take the baby.” She sees him startle and puts her hands firmly on his shoulders to keep him in place. “Once they confirm that it’s Jared’s, they are going to separate the two of you and send you the high-value maternity ward. Then, when the baby is born, the men that created you and Jared will take the child for whatever purpose they designed you for.”

“Please,” he says, and there’s nothing else he can say because hope seems so futile.

He thinks he sees a shimmer of moisture in her wide, dark eyes. “I want you to live, Jensen. I want you to decide for yourself what you want to be and who you want to be with. I’ll never have a child, so I want to give you that.”

She pauses, then sets her jaw and continues. “I’m going to give you a choice.”

Jensen realizes in awe that it’s the first time anyone’s ever done that.

He nods slowly.

“Do you trust me?” she starts, and he nods more quickly this time. He does, absolutely.

“Tomorrow Dr. Pellegrino and Dr. Ferris are going to run more tests on you. Let them. When they ask you questions about your condition, play dumb. They won’t do anything before they talk to the people above their pay grade so it’ll buy us a bit of time.”

“Time for what?” he asks, fear tingling in his belly alongside the hint of what could be his child.

“Tomorrow night, after bed checks. I need you to be ready. Do you hear me, Jensen? Be ready.”

“Ready for what?”

She runs a hand along his cheek. “To leave this place, Jensen."

Excitement burns through him, but also resolve. “I’m not going anywhere without Jared!”

Cindy smiles fondly and rolls her eyes. “I figured you would say that. Jared, too."

“Okay,” he says, letting out a deep breath. “I can’t thank you enough for helping us. No one has ever been so nice to me before.”

She looks away and it looks strangely like she’s struggling with his words. “It’s the least I can do. Just be ready tomorrow night.”

She’s gone before he can say anything else. Jensen goes over to the vent, sitting down on the ground with is legs pulled up to his chest.

He waits for Jared’s voice whispering through the grate, what seems like hours later.

“Jared, I have something to tell you,” Jensen begins.



The entire next day is full of anxiety and anticipation. As Nurse Cindy predicted, he spends most of the day in the medical suites having tests run on him. He’s prodded by cold hands and even colder jelly, his limbs moved and insides photographed.

The doctors talk about him like a test subject, as if he’s not even there and not a living, breathing person with emotions and a brain. It makes him so angry, the fire of rage burning inside of him for the first time in his life. It soothes him at the same time and gives him purpose. It makes him act dumb when they quiz him on how he ended up like this and shrug his shoulders like the brainless animal they take him for.

It makes him long for the night. For the thought of holding Jared’s hand as they flee this terrible place. Even though the world outside these walls are unknown, at least they are making the choice to live in it.

Jared takes the news surprisingly well. Jensen thinks that there is something innate in Jared that senses that things are going to be all right. He wonders if there are any latent psychic abilities mixed up in their genetic code. Even when he shushes himself and tells himself that it’s just fiction, a small part of him thinks it might actually be true.

Jared had said to him, “I will follow you anywhere, Jensen.” And in that moment Jensen knew that they had to leave in order to survive.

Finally, the night comes. Jensen barely eats his dinner—the anticipation for what is soon to come combined with the new creature growing inside of him making it almost impossible to keep anything down. He knows he needs his strength, but it’s difficult.

Ty comes around to do bed checks, and Jensen stays still in the dark until he hears his heavy footsteps heading down the hall. He doesn’t know exactly what their working schedule is, but Nurse Cindy always manages to come unlock their doors after this point in the night, so Ty must leave the facility before she does.

Jensen trusts that Nurse Cindy knows what she’s doing and stays in bed.

It’s closing in on an hour later when the door creaks open and two figures come in, their shapes noticeable only via flashlight. Jensen’s heart thumps wildly in his ear when he recognizes Nurse Cindy, but then sees the male figure in dark clothing and messy black hair next to her.

“Jensen, get up! We need to leave the lights off so we don’t trip the sensors. We have to move quickly,” Nurse Cindy commands, keeping her voice low and level. She and the man come over to the bed, where Jensen is scrambling to untangle himself from the bed sheet.

“This is Dr. Collins,” she introduces. Jensen looks at her with accusation in her eyes for bringing another doctor into his room.

“Not that kind of doctor, at least not anymore,” the man interrupts wryly, glancing between the two of them. “Call me, Misha.”

“I’m Jensen,” he replies. Misha’s eyes widen a bit at that.

“They gave you a name?” he asks, and the surprise is obvious.

“I gave myself a name,” Jensen replies, chin tipped up defiantly.

Misha barks out a low, sharp laugh. “I like you, kid.”

“Not a kid,” Jensen protests.

“No arguing now,” Cindy says, shushing him.

“We need to get rid of the chip first. That’s why I’m here,” Misha explains, pulling a long device with pinchers on the end out of the pocket of his jacket. He motions for Nurse Cindy to shine the light closer to the back of Jensen’s head.

“Can I?” Misha asks, motioning towards Jensen’s neck. Even though Jensen is suddenly terrified of what’s next, he nods and turns around enough for Misha to get to the space where the tracking chip is located.

There’s a sharp stinging sensation as Misha brings the end of the device to his skin, and then a feeling like a punch that shocks him. Jensen hisses and hunches his shoulders, but it’s over before he knows it. Misha pushes a piece of gauze onto the back of his neck.

“Hold it there, okay?” Misha instructs, and Jensen takes over pressing the gauze to the wound.

Misha puts the minute track chip right in the center of Jensen’s bed. Since the device will only activate if it leaves the premises, it should buy them some time, at least overnight.

Jensen grabs the tiny duffel that he arrived at the Nursery with, Genevieve’s book tucked firmly in the bottom. It’s the only thing he takes with him as they head quickly next door to Jared’s room.

“Jensen!” Jared says, rushing to him and squeezing him tightly in his arms. It’s the first they’ve seen of each other since Jensen found out about the baby, and the need to be together and feel skin on skin is overwhelming.

“No time for that now, guys. It’s how you got in this mess in the first place,” Nurse Cindy scolds, gesturing for Jared to turn around so Misha can perform the same procedure on him. Jared doesn’t protest except for a soft yelp when the chip comes out, and they leave the chip in Jared’s bed also.

The four of them start moving down the hallway, staying towards the walls per Nurse Cindy’s instructions to avoid detection. They end up down a corridor that the boys have never seen before. Jensen realizes that it’s probably the staff entrance.

Nurse Cindy quickly unlocks the door leading out of the facility, and suddenly new people are coming in. There are three of them—an older man with a salt-and-pepper beard, another man with smooth dark skin and a closed shaved-head, and a lithe woman with long blonde hair and a hard expression. They all carry weapons that Jensen has never seen before, and he instinctually backs up and away from them.

“It’s okay. They are friends,” Nurse Cindy whispers to him and smiles. He nods and looks over at the first man, who seems to be the leader of the group.

“You finally coming with us this time, Cin?”

“You know I can’t do that, JD,” Nurse Cindy replies. She’s smiling, but Jensen can tell her eyes are sad even in the dim lighting.

“Why not?” Jensen butts in, not realizing until it was said that he wants her to come, too. “Why can’t you come with us?”

Nurse Cindy touches his face one last time. “I’m not brave like you, Jensen.”

Jensen starts to protest, but she’s already turning away from him and staring over at the group. “You need to knock me out and then kick the door in from the outside. It needs to look like an ambush or my ass is toast.”

“I can’t knock you out,” JD insists. The blonde woman pushes him aside and lifts her weapon.

“I should have known you’d have no problem doing it,” Nurse Cindy states, as the woman rolls her eyes one last time before knocking Cindy out cold with the butt of her weapon.

“No problem at all,” the woman grins, nudging Cindy unconscious body with her toe before heading back towards the open door.

“Alona, that was so not necessary,” JD deadpans, but he’s heading towards the door quickly as well.

“Are you sure we should go with them?” Jared says, and his voice sounds terrified.

Jensen’s about to agree with him, when he looks down at Nurse Cindy and realizes how much she’s risking so that they can be safe and free.

“It’s our only chance,” Jensen replies, and holds out his hand for Jared to take.

They step over the threshold of the doorway together, and the first burst of real fresh air hits them. Jared gasps in a breath and looks over at Jensen, who is staring back at him in awe.

It’s the very first time in their lives they have been outside.

The rebels rush them into the back of a black van.

“Where are you taking us?” Jensen finally thinks to ask.

JD turns around in his seat and grins at them, teeth bright in the moonlight.

“To freedom, kiddo.”

==

Part 3 & Epilogue

Comments

[big-heart-june.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaaaaah SO EXCITING!! also! pregnant!JENNNSEN!!!!!!!!!