tebtosca | FIC: The State of Their Union (Jared/Jensen NC-17)

Title: The State of Their Union
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~2221
Warnings: inappropriate casting of CWRPF characters in important leadership positions. And rimming.

Summary: Secret Service agents Padalecki and Ackles can't seem to keep it in their pants. It's not a problem until President Collins is almost assassinated. Oops.

Author's Notes: Written for

smpc. Thanks to

costsofregret for the beta!

Dedicated to President Collins' tireless campaign manager ♥

Later on, much later, Jared will try to blame the fact that the President of the United States was almost assassinated on Jensen’s ass, but he’ll know it’s a lie.

Jensen’s mouth is pretty liable as well.

**

Secret Service Agents Padalecki and Ackles meet on their first day of the assignment to guard then newly confirmed Democratic candidate for President, Governor Misha Collins of Massachusetts.

They aren’t off duty more than thirty minutes before Jared is sliding Jensen up the leather of the backseat of his standard issue towncar and shoving his cock deep enough in Jensen’s ass that the smack of his balls manages to be just louder than their combined moaning.

Governor Collins smirks at them the next morning, and Jared decides then and there who he’s going to be voting for come Election Day.

**

The President’s first term is relatively peaceful, not counting the rise in the right wing birther movement that likes to claim that he was a KGB defector and spent three years in a Siberian gulag. That made his first summit with Putin as awkward as the time Secretary of State Rosenbaum arm-wrestled the Prime Minister of Pakistan.

Jared and Jensen try to keep their hands to themselves while on duty, but every now and again they slip up. It’s President Collins’ fault for being so easy-going, really. If he didn’t slip away to make himself a Starkist-and-Claussen-sandwich (his Secret Service codename isn’t “The Pickle” for nothing), then Jared wouldn’t have had the urge to throw Jensen on top of the desk in the Oval Office and bury his face in the crack of Jensen’s ass.

His tongue is buried in warm flesh, the slick muscle prying its way into tight little orifice until it gives in and opens itself to him. It’s intoxicating, being like this. The scent, the intimacy, knowing that he’s the only one in the world that gets to taste and touch this tiny glorious part of the world.

It can make a man forget where he is.

“Nice form. If I wasn’t leader of the free world, I would probably attempt to tap that as well.”

Jared attempts a jealous scowl, but Jensen just looks over his shoulder and manages to preen, the cocky sonofabitch.

President Collins chomps his tuna fish and grins as they manage to get Jensen’s pants back on.

**

Their supervisor, That Bastard Morgan (trademark Ackles), isn’t usually as forgiving. Especially not after they get caught by a flustered and totally turned on flight attendant while Jensen is trying to suck Jared’s brain out through his dick in the bathroom on Air Force One.

What? The President was sleeping. Not having anyone to actively defend can get boring when your boyfriend is making sexy eyes at you with the freckles and the eyelashes and the constant lip-licking.

“Can’t you just bang Thai hookers like the rest of us?” Morgan bellows two days later after they get back from the latest campaign stop for the President’s second term.

“Is this a multiple choice quiz or are we allowed write-ins?” Jensen asks, raising his hand like the smart ass that he is.

Jared just stifles a laugh when Morgan bares his teeth.

“You think this is funny, Ackles? I could replace your sorry asses with Kane and Hodge in five seconds flat if you push me too hard.”

Jensen gives him a look that can only be described as “I pity the fool.”

“The Pickle loves us, and you know it,” Jensen says and Morgan turns a shade of red that would probably require a blood pressure test under normal circumstances.

Jared just crosses his arms across his chest and nods, amused and vaguely horny, which is—admittedly—his usual state of being.

Morgan gets right up in Jensen’s face, stabbing a finger precariously close to the freckles. “You just better hope that your fuck-ups don’t turn around and cost that man his life.”

Jensen sighs dramatically. “No one wants that. We’re good, okay?”

Jared nods again, because that part is definitely true. If he dies then Vice President Cortese will become president and make them wear Lululemon and do yoga with her, and that stuff is not made for people Jared’s size.

Morgan flops back into his desk chair and waves at them dismissively like he just smelled something bad. “Get out of my sight, both of you. And try to make it out of my office before you start sucking each other off.”

Jared squeaks as Jensen grabs his balls and winks at Morgan.

“No promises,” Jensen says.

They just manage to dodge the officially-issued paper weight Morgan throws at them as they exit.

**

“Do you think we have sex too much?” Jared pants out. His pants are around his knees

Jensen pulls off Jared’s dick with a wet popping sound. His mouth is red and swollen, his hair is spiked and messy, and he looks utterly debauched and perfect. Every bit the man that Jared has loved since that very first day.

Jensen starts stroking with one hand, long leisurely strokes as his other hand cups Jared’s balls, weighing how heavy they are with the full force of Jared’s need. He bends down again, little kitten licks around the head of Jared’s cock, staring up at Jared with those big green eyes the whole time.

Lick.

“I don’t know, Jared.”

Lick.

“Maybe.”

Lap.

“We.”

Twirl.

“Should.”

Suck.

“Stop.”

Jensen pulls off then, standing up and brushing off invisible lint on his work suit. He saunters nonchalantly to the door, hips swaying.

He doesn’t even manage to get a hand around the doorknob before Jared has him pressed against wood and his cock riding the crevice of his Brooks Brother-ed ass.

Jared can swear he hears Jensen mumble “thought so” but his face is buried in the back of Jensen’s neck and he can’t quite be sure.

**

President Collins gets narrowly elected to a second term, the slim margin due mainly to the rumors of his threesomes with the First Lady Victoria, which were as discrete as a makeshift glory hole in the handicapped bathroom stall at the Republican National Convention.

It was the President’s biggest scandal since the time he tried to get carrots in all school lunches, which Congressman Weatherly, the Republican House Whip, insisted was promoting homosexuality. That led to discussion of a “more feminine vegetable, like a sweet potato,” which Secretary of Defense Beaver got caught on a hot microphone comparing to the size of his prostate during his last annual. That kerfluffle managed to last three whole news cycles and required a statement from Press Secretary Harris.

The Fox morning show fembot Cassidy has her highest ratings in years, but overall things calm down and second term malaise sets in.

The Service gets new briefs, a few new rules, warnings about an uptick in activity on the more militant websites. Jared is a good boy and doesn’t touch Jensen while the clock is running, though he makes up for it nightly, sometimes twice for good luck.

If Jensen is walking a bit more bowlegged the next day, well, at least he still has his gun even if he’s not running as well.

A few years into his second term, President Collins decides to make a bid for a legacy that involves more than carrots and polyamory, and pushes through an extensive gun control bill. Things are tense, especially after Vice President Cortese allegedly hits minority leader Senator Lehne (R-Texas) with her gavel after one particularly long negotiation session.

If there is one thing that can be said for President Collins, it’s that he likes to get out there and take the temperature of the people.

In other words, he likes getting up and talking in front of large groups of sycophants who wave placards with his face on them. It’s a thing.

In Jared’s defense, he hasn’t seen Jensen in over five days by the time the scheduled event comes up. Jensen had gone back home to see his folks and they didn’t really know about the whole ass-fucking thing and while that makes Jared sad, he gets it.

Well, kind of. Not that he is happy about it, considering that they are going on a six year relationship of near-constant togetherness that involves sharing a job, a bed, and a goldfish named Sadie. Yeah, not like that’s important or anything.

Jared takes a deep breath and practices those calming exercises Vice President Cortese taught him.

So he can’t really help himself when Jensen shows up to work practically right from the airport and it’s the first time they’ve seen each other in five days and his mouth is right there.

It’s just a quickie, really. Just to take the edge off so they can concentrate.

Jensen’s pressed up against the door of the green room, Jared hot and tight against his body. Jensen’s hands are carding through Jared’s hair, running the strands through his fingers like he wants to tangle himself right up in it. Their lips are soft when they touch, air mingling, sharing life.

Jensen’s tongue pushes through first, leading the way like Jensen always does, and it’s so right, so them, that it’s hard to remember a time before this existed. Jared gets lost in it, in the scent of Jensen’s skin, and the beating of his pulse against Jared’s lifeline when he presses his palm to Jensen’s neck.

They don’t have time, they know it. But it’ll just take a moment, just a few strokes, they’re so close. Jared turns him, pressing Jensen’s cheek to the wood as he gets Jensen’s pants down just far enough to slide his hand down into that smooth, warm curve. He taps on Jensen’s entrance, just a little, dry and tight from days of disuse.

Jensen’s soft moan encourages him, and Jared sticks the fingers of his other hand right in the open and inviting cavern of Jensen’s mouth. Jared’s dick hardens as Jensen laves his tongue around his fingers, saliva stringing down Jared’s knuckles and dripping in the webs.

Jared pulls it out and pushes his hand down Jensen’s pants, using his dry hand to open the cheeks up enough for the other one to get in there and force the natural lubrication inside him.

There are few things that Jared loves more than fingering Jensen, big fat digits breaking him open, getting as far up as they can and sweeping around until they hit that spot that makes Jensen keen with need. Jared can do it an hour, two hours, sometimes he’ll just keep his fingers in there without moving them, just to feel Jensen clench around him. Or after Jared comes, his seed dripping lazily out of the obscenely red ring. Jared will reach in there and push it back in, finger painting Jensen’s insides, putting a stamp on him that way if he can’t do it for the world to see.

They don’t have time for all that now, so Jared just opens his own pants enough to get his steel rod of a cock out and starts prying open Jensen’s ass with it. It’s still a bit too dry and the prep wasn’t thorough enough, so it’s slow going, one hard inch at a time.

Finally, after an excruciatingly pleasurable slide, he’s all the way in. He just stops for a moment when he feels his pelvis flush against Jensen’s skin.

“I love you, Jen.”

He’s never said it before, and how insane is that. Six years, one job, one bed, and one goldfish, and yet never three tiny little words.

Jared swallows hard.

“Jared—“ Jensen starts, his asshole clenching around Jared’s dick like it’s trying to reply for him.

Then the gunshots start.

**

Chad Michael Murray, right wing militant, high school drop-out, and overall loser, ends up face down on the cement floor of the hallway that he inexplicably managed to sneak into, Agent Ackles sitting on his back with his gun to the back of Murray’s head.

President Misha Collins ends up with a nasty cut and a ruined suit jacket where one of Murray’s bullets grazed his arm as he was coming out of the adjoining green room after getting impatient waiting for his Service detail to come fetch him.

His real injury comes from when Agent Padalecki tackled him to the ground to shield his body from any more shots as Agent Ackles took out the rather inept gunman.

The President looks down pointedly at Jared’s pants, which remain unzipped, as Jared blushes furiously.

“You owe me a new jacket,” President Collins says calmly.

It’s about three seconds later when Kane and Hodge are barging in and all hell breaks loose.

**

President Collins punishes them by forcing them to guard his son for three months. Jared will take militia men and terrorists any day because kindergartners are monsters.

It’s worth it only to see Morgan’s face turn puce when The Pickle reinstates them in their former detail, giving as his reason only “Kane and Hodge are boring, and I’m the boss.”

Jared and Jensen are sad to see him eventually leave office, especially when Vice President Cortese becomes President Cortese.

Spandex is a bitch, even if Jensen’s ass looks amazing in downward dog.